lundi 17 octobre 2005
I arrived as late as i could in the lab this morning. Not exactly on purpose. Not exactly without a purpose. I've got those bloody double mutants to check this week, those double mutants that may not be double eventually, as i discovered last thursday night, as i announced to my boss half panicking, half trying really hard not to cry last friday morning, after a sleepless night full of tears, because so many experiments are just going to be trashed. Bad luck is definitely following me everywhere i go. I work hard, i actually do, and i love what i'm doing, but sometimes, i just wish i'd get a little help from whoever reads the Big Book upstairs somewhere above my head, whether It exists or not.
With this book chapter deadline approaching far too fast, and this talk i definitely have to give next friday, i'd make myself swear i wouldn't touch a pipette during the week-end, forgetting any kind of lab work, just for 48 hours, and keeping my brain active, reading about light and hormons interactions, instead of running into yet another PCR to avoid having to think, because although i enjoy using my brain, it's definitely the laziest organ of my body, especially when it comes to auxin signalling.
Not only haven't i touched a pipette for over 48 hours, but my brain has actually stubbornly kept its virginity towards any kind of plant hormon influence over the week-end.
Almost unbearable guilty feelings have been flowing through my body since last night, feeding my self-esteem's downfall... i really ought to be used to those awfull sunday nights by now, but actually i'm not.
Still, i arrived late in the morning, not willing to face the situation. Chatting to as many people as i could in the office, since 48 hours of silence is sometimes hard to live through, and i was eventually relieved to see some friendly faces and to hear some friendly voices, since i'd almost forgotten how nice it was to communicate with people for the last 2 days. Last week-end wasn't only a waste of time, it was also extremely lonely, even for my hermit standards.
I arrived late, and did nothing. Tidying-up my desk. Taping a new white-board on my cupboard, in a vain effort of trying to be a wee bit more organised. Going from a growthroom to another looking at my plants, none of which needed any more water, after the bath i'd given them the day before. Cursing the fate or whatever made me who i am, this person that i really can't like, no matter how hard i try, but do i really try that hard ?
By 3.30pm, as i couldn't find anything that needed to be organised, cleaned or watered, i eventually sat down and started what i should have done on saturday morning. Book chapter write-up.
Which means that i'm exactly 53 hours behind my schedule, which was actually a "last-chance-to-get-through-everything-in-time-emergency-schedule". And it's only monday evening. Stress is already dripping all over me, and the week has just begun.
Remind me, why have i chosen this life exactly ? |
With this book chapter deadline approaching far too fast, and this talk i definitely have to give next friday, i'd make myself swear i wouldn't touch a pipette during the week-end, forgetting any kind of lab work, just for 48 hours, and keeping my brain active, reading about light and hormons interactions, instead of running into yet another PCR to avoid having to think, because although i enjoy using my brain, it's definitely the laziest organ of my body, especially when it comes to auxin signalling.
Not only haven't i touched a pipette for over 48 hours, but my brain has actually stubbornly kept its virginity towards any kind of plant hormon influence over the week-end.
Almost unbearable guilty feelings have been flowing through my body since last night, feeding my self-esteem's downfall... i really ought to be used to those awfull sunday nights by now, but actually i'm not.
Still, i arrived late in the morning, not willing to face the situation. Chatting to as many people as i could in the office, since 48 hours of silence is sometimes hard to live through, and i was eventually relieved to see some friendly faces and to hear some friendly voices, since i'd almost forgotten how nice it was to communicate with people for the last 2 days. Last week-end wasn't only a waste of time, it was also extremely lonely, even for my hermit standards.
I arrived late, and did nothing. Tidying-up my desk. Taping a new white-board on my cupboard, in a vain effort of trying to be a wee bit more organised. Going from a growthroom to another looking at my plants, none of which needed any more water, after the bath i'd given them the day before. Cursing the fate or whatever made me who i am, this person that i really can't like, no matter how hard i try, but do i really try that hard ?
By 3.30pm, as i couldn't find anything that needed to be organised, cleaned or watered, i eventually sat down and started what i should have done on saturday morning. Book chapter write-up.
Which means that i'm exactly 53 hours behind my schedule, which was actually a "last-chance-to-get-through-everything-in-time-emergency-schedule". And it's only monday evening. Stress is already dripping all over me, and the week has just begun.
Remind me, why have i chosen this life exactly ? |
